i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
