Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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