how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
