Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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