My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
