just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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