I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
