you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
