I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
