Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
