Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
