Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Come see our sink grown plant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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