your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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