Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
