Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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