Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
