Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
