My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
