I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
