batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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