Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
