So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The air was thick with penises
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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