I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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