i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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