I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
