Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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