We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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