Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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