we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize