franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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