hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Houston, we have a squirter
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
