K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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