im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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