She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
