I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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