Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I looked at my own cervix.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
