Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
