it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
