Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
