If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
