It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
