Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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