9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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