so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
