We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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