Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
