WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
