just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
