Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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