I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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