I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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