Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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