There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
