Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
