Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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